Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

Overall impression: I like the idea of this story. It has a style that reads well. I would suggest to add more for setting and characters. Also some characters are just mentioned and serve no purpose.

Characterization: Dr Kendall tells the story. His account is interesting and brings the reader into the story. The interaction with Dr. Stone and a mysterious white figure is brief. Developing the interaction would add to the story.

Dialogue: Good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .