OVERALL SENSE: Yes, young men bond at a early age at school and sometimes that friendship can last throughout their lifetime. This is what happened to you. You and Aaron bonded, did crazy things together until a girlfriend came into the midst. I'm sure you were happy for Aaron, and you both sort of drifted apart. Getting back together with you seemed his choice. Everyone makes their own choices, and because everything went bad cannot be blamed on you only. The girlfriend got angry at you, for whatever reason, only she knew. What I see is that Aaron and her seemed to have a communication problem, if they wanted to build a lasting relationship together, that is the key.

         TITLE APPEAL: "Lay my Brother to Rest" is the title of this story. It's a good title that gives your readers an inkling of what they'll be reading.

The description underneath reads, "This is a look into my life based on real events with some realistic fiction thrown in."

         STYLE/VOICE: The style is death, teen, dark.

The voice is that of the author's who is revealing a little bit about his life.

         TONE/MOOD: The tone is sad, upset, and tragic. The author keeps reliving this part of his life, it definitely is tragic, stressful, and grim. But you have to move on with your life, do something in memory of your friend. You wrote about it which can be your first step. Keep going until you feel better about yourself.

The mood is nightmarish, tense, and terrifying. Knowing what happened can be nightmarish, but still who's choice was it, really?

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place at a happier time, life is good, two friends do crazy things together, making memories.

         CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Because this is a true story, the characters were already developed. I seem to know a little bit about you, you were a year and a half younger than Aaron. But he still chose you to be his friend, that is saying something good about you.

Personality: You wrote that you were perverted and immature. Apparently, you thought Aaron was more mature. It still surprises me that he didn't want to spend more time with his girlfriend, especially if he is ready to ask her to marry him. He chose, instead, to hang with you. Didn't that surprise you?

Motivation: What really was going on in Aaron's head? His girlfriend got upset that he was hanging out with you, whom she couldn't stand. Why didn't he go to her then and calm her down? She committed suicide over this? This all seems way overboard, life is something that you should cherish.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/SENTENCE STRUCTURE: I feel you did a good job with wording this story. Sentence structure all seems sound and clear, no errors in spelling. Good job!

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I feel you needed to get this story told. Most of your readers with have a differences of opinions, so I hope you can handle that.

         DISLIKES: NONE

FAVORITE LINE(S): I did have some favorite lines that I would like to highlight. I'll explain why I like them and how they added to the story.

          QUOTE HERE: Yes, I blame myself. I don't care what anyone says, I know I could have done something. But it's too late now. He's gone, and it's my fault. And I'll never be able to forgive myself, let alone forget. I still remember that horrible night when it all happened.

          My Comment: Again, all three of you have some fault in all this, it is not fair to you to take the whole blame. You are the one left standing, you didn't take the easy way out. Your life is still ahead of you, it's time to think of yourself.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Good job in telling this sad, depressing story. I'm hoping your next story is on a more happier note. Thank you for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.



Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie🌺



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .