Hello Woods,

I found your story "The Trenches"  on the "review a newbie" link and was curious when I saw the title and the synopsis. I love to read war books and found your short story to be a good read.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. You don't have to agree with anything I am saying, I'm simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
Having been in the military in an infantry unit, I found your descriptions of the mud soaked trenches described well. I thought you used good word choices to describe what was transpiring in those moments of terror. It was interesting that in spite of being exposed to the explosions, machine guns, and cries of dying men, It was a simple whistle that gripped them with fear.

Grammar and Mechanics:
The only thing that concerned me was your 57 word opening sentance. I would try to turn it into two or three sentences.

"...urgency for protection. It was nothing more than a..."

I saw no other problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only other suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .