This is a great story. You have done a great job capturing the emotions a teenage boy would go through to ask a girl out. My favourite part was the end where Jeff finds out his mom is marrying his wanna be girl friend's dad. I also like how you developed the characters of Jeff's brothers. Very unique use of the prompt and good luck in the contest. The only advice I have for you about improvement is this piece needs a little bit of editing. Otherwise very well done. Write on!




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .