Author:adam_gill
Reviewer:Cobe

Hi! I'm here to give you a review in affiliation with "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group"  as part of a challenge for "a very Wodehouse challenge" . I found this piece on the random review page and it caught my attention because of the title and the memories I have of that summer.

In General: This piece reads well and keeps the readers attention. All of the details help to draw the reader in and keep them engaged. The theme is great because I think everyone has a childhood memory that they can attach to summer so it should speak to a wide audience. I was in America in the southern states at the time where it is always hot so my memories are different, but I still have lots of summers filled with water guns and water balloons and street fights with hoses. And then there was the one summer day, every year, where they opened the fire hydrant and let it run. The street was like a river.

Flow: Generally this flows well from one thought to the next and keeps the theme alive. My suggestion is to break your paragraphs down to shorter segments. Readers tend to skim anything too long. For example, in your first paragraph, I would put breaks in here: " fortunate. The summer" and here: " obviously! That was," Those are two obvious breaks in thought/action.

Grammar: Well done!

Conclusion: This is the one area that I think could use a little more. The quote kind of rambles a bit. (I'm rubbish at endings myself.) But that's minor, so you can take my advice or not.

Overall: I enjoyed reading this. It certainly brought back many memories for me. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Happy writing!!
Cobe

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .