Author: rwkendall
Reviewer: Cobe

Hi! I here to give you a review in affiliation with "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group"  as part of a challenge for "a very Wodehouse challenge"  . I found your piece as an entry on "The Writer's Cramp"  and it sounded interesting.

In General: I like the overall storyline to this. It starts out high energy because all the reader knows is that it's about snipers but then fills in nicely with details of what is really going on. It tells a good story and flows well from beginning to end.

Character: Reggie - You've named him right off the bat, which is great for reader recognition. I assume he is a youngish man, maybe college age or a little older as that is who is normally playing video games like this. But we don't really have any details to support his age. Maybe if he propped his feet up on a Physics book or his ex-wife's coffee table it would give the reader more information about his age and position in life.

Setting: The setting is his living room in an apartment(?) I'm not sure it matters whether this is an apartment or house but we know he's got a tv and he's not in his bedroom. I love the orange on his mouth and shirt. Cheetos anyone?

Plot: You've linked his high tension "need" for playing this game to a high tension concept of snipers and war as well to the high tension reality of having electricity and a job. Good job!

Overall: This is an easy read, with a high energy flow, and great point at the end!

Happy Writing!
Cobe

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .