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Review #4069219
Viewing a review of:
 Dead City Open in new Window. [18+]
Chicago, undead
by Carlitos91 Author Icon
Review of Dead City  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi Carlitos!
This isn't bad. I like where you're going with it so far. You've built up the suspense and the descriptions are pretty good, but halfway through it you went from the 2nd person POV to the 1st person POV, which can lose a reader. But the spelling, punctuation, and grammar (SPAG) was excellent.
One niggle you might want to check:
'...telling myself, "they can't be dead." "That's impossible." (you don't need the quotation marks seperating these sentences)
Otherwise, good job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Carlitos! Welcome to WdC, and...

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