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Review #4069544
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi TippHex!
This is a well told story, but I'm not sure if it followed what the card said. Was Tom careful what he wished for? It sounds like he got what he wanted. The way I took that prompt was that he should have gotten something terrible that he wished for. Kind of like that new commercial where the guy gets a wish and wishes for a million bucks, then suddenly he's surrounded by a million deer with horns (bucks).
Anyway, for this being your first time entering a contest it's still a good story. And at least you're getting to know your way around on here.
A couple of minor niggles:
'...just tows of similarly shabby homes...' (rows?)
'stoopid' should be 'stupid'
Otherwise, good job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, TippHex, and welcome to WdC! I know you're going to like it here!
PS-If you ever need help with anything on this site, just ask anyone of us. We're all here to help each other, and we know it's not easy for new members.

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