Hi! I'm judging "Invalid Item"  for Round 66 and thought I should give everyone some feedback on their epistles!

Some things I Like:

Nice to see another entry from you, love! And what an entry. I did not see that first 'feet smell worse than liver' coming AT ALL. It adds more to the effect for it to come out of nowhere.

In general, I think this is a cute piece, and it has real poetic merit as well. At times, people forget that lighthearted poetry still needs to be poetry.

Observations & Suggestions:

The "but I hope you will" line is pretty weak for such an early line. There is strong word choice in this piece, but in general, the opening stanza has the weakest word choice. There is not much there to grab a reader's attention. I am a sucker for a strong hook.

I thought it was odd to mention not knowing how to read in the beginning when the next stanza launches into the feet motif. I would think that 'tie your laces' rather than 'read' would be a little more cohesive, but that just my opinion.

Overall, I think the piece is amusing, and it certainly fits the contest prompt. Nicely done and good luck with this round of the contest!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .