\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4091577
Review #4091577
Viewing a review of:
 
Blue Ribbon Open in new Window. [E]
For July 2014 What a Character-
by Fyn Author Icon
Review of Blue Ribbon  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


When I first started reading, I figured the difficulties between brother and sister were nothing more than a bit of light banter with Reggie feeling that he as the head of the family had the right to boss his sister around a little. I got that impression because of the way she spoke to him, calling him by a nickname he didn't like, and what she thought about him when she reflected on his attempts to interfere in her life. It was only later that it became clear he was outright nasty to her, not only making her feel bad but also effectively trying to get rid of her.

The story didn't completely change direction, I just felt their relationship became a little clearer and continued to do so all the way to the end, when Garret revealed what her brother had called her and how he could help her get back at him. As it happens, that fit with her plans and as the attraction was mutual, it didn't seem like an unreasonable solution.

I spotted a few small formatting errors that seemed to occur when you used italics and forgot to insert a space. Also, there were a couple typos:

attitude I cn handle – can

edge of the rode – I think that was meant to say "road."

I liked the build up and the way you described the setting and the characters. Especially Annabelle was very likeable and I could easily imagine her frustration and then her delight at meeting Garret. Her thoughts about her brother worked well to explain a bit about her feelings and about his character and I thought that was nicely done. I enjoyed the story. *Smile*


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/02/2015 @ 5:36am EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4091577