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Review #4092230
Viewing a review of:
 Bed of Roses Open in new Window. [E]
A man is in grief at his beloved's funeral but soon sees what else he has to live for.
by Logan William Author Icon
Review of Bed of Roses  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A very poignant story. You didn't say if it was based on real events (and I certainly hope it was not) but it could be. The narrator's grief seemed very real and you described all the little details he noticed and remembered very well. It's like the readers were standing right there with him, and although there was little in the way of description of the surroundings, most readers will be familiar with the kind of scene so will be able to picture it.

At first I imagined an older man, perhaps because it is more usual for an older person to die although of course sadly people die at all ages. But then it became clear that he was younger. When you introduced the daughter the tale became more emotional because now there wasn't only a grieving widower but also a young child who was affected by the death. Fortunately for both the narrator and the girl, he realised that she was his reason to carry on living despite their loss.

I noticed a couple of errors when I was reading, and if you wanted to edit this story you might want to take a look. It's just a missing comma when the dialogue includes a direct address, like in this line,

“Where can I go beautiful?

where you need a comma after 'go' to set off the address. The same in this line,

“Everything’s gonna be ok baby.

The repetition of some of the phrases worked well to emphasise what he focussed on at the time - her face, the roses - and there seemed to be quite a noticeable shift when he looked at his daughter and realised that instead of thinking about the past, he had a future to look forward to. The denouement happened perhaps a little quickly considering how inconsolable he was at first, but it is an uplifting ending as it indicates he will not be sad forever. It's a touching story so it seems wrong to say that I enjoyed it, but it was well written and enjoyable to read. *Smile*


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