Greetings, ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy ! Thank you for submitting your entry in the "Writing 4 Kids" .

I can imagine the anxiety and fear you must've felt, Ann! Thunderstorms can be pretty frightening to a child, but when the parent is fearful, too, the child knows there is danger. Great job portraying that anxiety. I also found your rhyme scheme interesting...a/b/a/c in parts, and also a/b/c/b in other areas. I've never tried the a/b/a/c scheme before now and will certainly consider it, as it's a little different and... I like that.

I have a few suggestions listed below. My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works, and leave the rest.

You might consider adding more punctuation to this piece. I was told long ago, that punctuation isn't necessary in poetry, except for children because they are learning about punctuation, where to to pause (commas,) when to stop (periods,) and quotation marks depicting dialogue. It's up to you, of course, but something to think about.

Your stories and poetry are always so interesting, Ann. I also like how you often add a note at the end of your items and how they relate to the past. I feel it's important to share moments we have experienced, as so many others will connect to them in one way or another. Nice work, Ann.

Favorite lines...

Radio news gave a warning
“Take cover; expect tornadoes soon”
I was five, and still growing
Grabbed my coat as Mama said

Have a great day and
K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .