Greetings, Dave ! Thank you for submitting your entry in the "Writing 4 Kids" .

This is a beautifully written piece. I think what I like about it most of all, is that the prompt was to write about a thunderstorm, and this previously written piece compares fireworks to a thunderstorm. I like that idea very much.

I actually have no suggestions for improvement. My first thought, however, was if children might enjoy this like adults would. It feels more adult-ish to me, with words such as garish, fervor, homage but after much thought, I decided children would like it very much if there were illustrations portraying grand fireworks in the beginning and Nature's display at the end, as in a picture book. Children do love fireworks!

I like how you added an AUTHOR'S NOTE for those not familiar with the Rondeau form of poetry. I, myself, enjoy learning new forms and I feel it's important to explain a possible unfamiliar form to the readers so they understand the structure. Nice work.

Favorite lines...

they soon find out that Nature’s version is beyond compare

Have a great day and
K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .