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Review #4136290
Viewing a review of:
 She Waits Open in new Window. [E]
A short poem
by That Short Girl Author Icon
Review of She Waits  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Poet : That Short Girl Author Icon
Poem : "She Waits" Open in new Window.

*BurstV*Subject
Your poem is about a person. She's filled with rage to the bursting and she feels like anger consumes her. She is tired of hiding and waiting. She can no longer pretend to be calm as her emotions are rising like storm threatening to flood her. Some day, her calm exterior was going to break and the whole world was going to see the true person inside - you.

Your poem was on many levels true for me. I'm a very mild mannered person, or so people tell me. It's quite hard to keep emotions bottled up and your poem explained what it feels like to hold back certain emotions, like anger, which is easier said than done. I liked what you did at the end there - I expected it, but it was a good ending nonetheless.

*BurstB*Imagery
Your poem mainly focuses on the emotions you have - primarily anger. You describe anger as a storm under a calm surface and the comparison was good use of poetic imagery. I like the contrast you've used here of "jaded eyes" and "watching and waiting" to what is actually going on inside you - your poem reminded me of a panther ready to leap into action, a coiled spring of sorts threatening to break free.

*BurstB*Form
Free form
Rhyme - Complex without a set scheme. You write poetry the way I do - it wouldn't entirely qualify as free verse because there is rhyme. But as there is no set scheme to the madness, it doesn't read like traditional structured poetry - this gives you more breathing space to explore your creativity while preserving good flow.
Poetic devices - Rhyme, assonance and metaphors
Flow and coherence - *Thumbsupl*

*BurstG*Style of writing
Descriptive, simple to read and easy to understand

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
brewing silently - The double usage of adverbs (-ly words) disrupts the flow. Please consider rewording it here.

I can too be - Please try I too can be

*BurstO*Favourite part
The ending and your descriptive endeavours *Heart* *Smile*

*BurstR*Final thoughts
Your piece was an interesting verse about hidden emotions - aren't they the most important, after all? What one is on the outside is but the tip of an iceberg and your poem drove that point home. I liked reading it, thank you for sharing. Welcome to WDC *Smile*

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Suitspade*

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