Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: The slightly dark comedic tone of this story makes it a delightful read.

Opening: the first paragraph sets the tone, and the reader is enticed to keep reading.

Plot: the idea is well developed throughout the story.

Style and Voice: there is an easy reading style, and the first person voice is very well done.

Scene/Setting: the setting is clear and well developed.

Characters: the main character is very well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item"  Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .