Hello! I found your story on Review Requests and knew I had to read it. When I was a little girl, my mother would read me the story of the Little Match Girl and I still remember it to this day as the little girl would light a match and see a feast of food before her. This story is just as sad as that except for your story seems so much more real as it is set in present. It is hard to believe there are people out there who wouldn't help a child like this, although they are older they get lost and don't know how to take care of themselves.
As for your short story, I saw no problems with it and it was beautifully written. I hope more people can open their hearts to the less fortunate and realize how hard it can be for people in the winter where so many die from being out in the elements. For people who have given their lives to drugs and alcohol, sometimes there is no hope for them. I don't like to say that but some people would rather be under the influence then get help, and they will use their children any way they can.
This was such a good story and it touched my heart. Write on!