Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: This is an easy flowing tale that tells an interesting story.

Opening: The first paragraph introduces a mystery, pulling the reader into the action until the end.

Plot: an interesting story idea that is well developed.

Scene/Setting: the setting is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: Good characters with good interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item"  Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .