Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Good details add to the enjoyment of this story. The prologue accomplishes its purpose by introducing some of the characters in an interesting manner and enticing the reader to want to know what comes next.

Opening: The first paragraphs set the scene well and encourages the reader to continue with the story.

Plot: the idea of the story is set up well.

Style and Voice: An easy reading style.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: The characters are well done, and there is good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item"  Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .