Greetings, ! Thank you for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !

Prompt: Very few stories are written in the point of view of Second-person because it's hard to pull off. Your challenging prompt today is to write a fictional scary story or poem in *Second-person POV.
         *Second-person is "you" as the main character.

The story was interesting, and I'm so glad you had fun with experimenting in this POV. I'm going to make a suggestion, because I want you to see the difference between past and present tense in Second person. I think you might like the present better... Here are a few examples:

You actually begin this paragraph in present tense but change it to past tense, which most of your story stays in:

You are looking at that dead spacehip. Next to you was Becka. And right behind you and Becka were six others. They consisted of Hanni, Staen, Wiom, Chussa, Pocce and Flaigh. “That’s our destination?” You said to no one in particular.

All present tense, Second-person POV:

You are looking at that dead spaceship. Next to you is Becka. And right behind you and Becka are six others. They consist of Hanni, Staen, Wiom, Chussa, Pocce and Flaigh. “That’s our destination?” you say to no one in particular.

Here's another example where you begin in present and switch to past tense:

You think about that for a minute. Then you said to everyone on that ship, “I want everyone off this ship – now.” But you were too late. You and Becka was now in The Control Chamber.

All present tense, Second-person POV:

You think about that for a minute. Then you say to everyone on that ship, “I want everyone off this ship – now.” But you are too late. You and Becka are now in The Control Chamber.

I think if you go through and change it all to present tense, you'll be much happier with it. Second-person is a toughie, but it's also a fun challenge to practice with.

Nice opening hook:

“It’s just you and me,” said Becka. “Everyone else got scared. Did you see them run out of here as though as they had seen a ghost?”

Best of luck in the contest!

Have a great day and...
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .