\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4170054
Review #4170054
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor
Review of Party Time  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Minja~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi amyjo-Keeping it real and fun! Author Icon *Smile*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

It's been pleasure to review your "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. on behalf of the Simply Positive Group. Please be reminded that my review is based on one person's opinion and you have all rights to choose if you like it or not. So please feel free to use if you find something interesting or just ignore if you don't like something.

*Star*Rhyme?
While I was reading this poem I found that first line in first stanza and first line in second stanza are flowing naturally because they are also rhyming with each other which you didn't do in the last two stanzas. I didn't really like how third stanza sound, it seems like it's outstanding from the others because it's not rhyming so naturally like the others. If you try to read it out loud you will see what I'm talking about here.

*Star*Flow?
It started smoothly and then in the middle of the poem I felt like my tongue got tied and then the ending was also smooth here. I just didn't like third stanza, not because of the content just because of that flow that it didn't have.

*Star*Imagery?
I could never imagine that the poem will finish like this. I love how you ended it up because at first I didn't know what are you talking about, it was so dark at the beginning. And then BAM..it's about kid addicted to video games. This is awesome.

*Star*Mood?
It was confusing at the beginning and hilarious at the end. I really liked it overall, I was just little bit distracted by third stanza while reading it. Thanks for sharing your work with us. All smiles..*Smile*
My own sig
~Minja~
"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" Open in new Window.
*Pencil* Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little *Pencil*
Animated Tweety Simply Positive group sig.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/27/2015 @ 8:23pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4170054