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BLACKBIRD
by M.Prelooker

E-Two-#blowme

Chapter-9-a little intel

Now a quick move for Gillian from the supermarket back to her home.

>>> Where are you?”

Connor glanced around. She scoffed; he smirked.
Subtle joke...cute.

>>> “Keeping an eye on that B.E.B. group while isolating the faces, in the pictures you sent and in the security footage.”
and this is what he's really doing. Being a resourceful teenager.

>>> Ten minutes ago a user had uploaded a picture of Cook talking to the press.
Not sure that 'user' is the right term. Since it is a group, 'member' makes it more selective. The comments section is different as they would be registered subscribers. Probably only one or two individuals can post original material on the site.

>>> Gillian called Fred.
Exactly right. I instantly know this is a phone conversation.

>>> Connor spotted the box his mother had brought from the car, wrapped in a very sober black paper, and tried to peep at what it was without ripping the paper. Gillian smacked his hand, scowling at him as she asked Fred, “Who’s coming next?”
Very complex pair of sentences. Connor action, the box described, Gillian action, Gillian phone conversation---the writing is slick.

>>> But it was her son: he’d been facing her death glares all of his life―and getting away with it.
Like this a lot. Connor's the one person who is not affected by the 'death glare'.
Also we know that Gillian is very aware of what her face and eyes are doing.

>>>So Gillian pushed softly the computer to him.
This feels like a foreign language word order. Softly describes the pushing.
>>>So Gillian softly pushed the computer to him.

>>>“I wanna know in which hotel one Declan Brockner is staying.”
OK, now we know for sure about the box. Cool.

>>>“I thought he was some kinda rockstar in the FBI, but he’s staying here.”
A disgraced rockstar who's staying in a cheap hotel. I like that the status of the hotel is implied.

>>>“A bitter know-it-all with a stick shoved up his―leaving tomorrow?”
She has Brock pegged, but somehow that's OK. Her fast uptake on 'leaving tomorrow?' is a hint.

>>>She looked up to find Connor staring at her from narrowed eyes.
She can't hide much from her son, and her attraction toward Brock, inspite of all, is showing.

>>>“Where’s my mother and what have you done to her?”
I know...the omnipresent voice is also a know-it-all. I laughed.

>>>Kurt’s voice thundered the whole house,
Liked this phrase a lot. I know people like that. And with beer.

* * *

Very clear description of the room and their night's work.
I think clever to find the students that could handle the chemicals.
I'm not sure about the connection between the murdered boy and the Boston school, unless this is a totally different vendetta. (?) Is this a plan for general disruption of a community?
I like that Connor works with the team and has skills to contribute.

>>>“You guys clean up this mess,” Aldana said, following Gillian out.
One of the reasons I like this beautiful black lady, she's as cleverly hard as Gillian. Probably why they work so well together.

FINAL COMMENT: A great example of how people can be dedicated and work as a group. Reminds me of working on a film. I was happy to see Gillian and Connor at home together with nice humor. Good Chapter.

Best, Gale




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .