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I'm Gale Peterson, known as iguanamountain most of the time on WDC. This will be an in-depth review. I read most of the novelette a couple days ago, so it's been floating in my mind. Now I will dig into it. Your writing if quite polished so I don;t expect a lot of structural concerns. Mostly you'll get my initial reactions, understandings and any questions of logic, or confusion I might come across. And I also add that we're happy to have your story on Ocean.

>>> Nate lay still in bed for a long time after his aunt closed the door,
I get a lot of information from this first paragraph. Three characters are mentioned. Nate is the focus, and I gather that this is his first night staying with an aunt in a room that used to belong to Pete. For some reason that bothers Nate. Already there is a tone of discomfort. Oh, also this location is not in a city.
You mention blinds and I immediately had an image of Venetian blinds, the old wooden ones. I like the night sounds.

>>> and craning his neck around he saw a light streak across the fields before it vanished into the trees.
From this I believe the train tracks are some distance away from the house, beyond the trees.

>>> A train whistle. He remembered it now from his trip down here. But it sounded so different from outside;
Now I wonder if he came by train, or they traveled near a passing train? There's a big difference. I could think 'from outside' means he was inside the train.

>>> The hall was dark, and he could see no lights on below.
It would help to know where the bedroom of the aunt and uncle is located. Does Nate have to tiptoe past their door? Or are they in another part of the house?

>>> When he'd arrived this afternoon, he remembered Uncle Frank's car crossing the tracks on the main road from the station.
From this I guess that Uncle Frank picked Nate up at the train station. BUT if they crossed the tracks and it wasn't that far, he could easily find the tracks by going back down the road. (? - that's me thinking) SO why not say they drove beside the tracks for a short way before they turned towards the Uncle's house and left them behind. The need to go into the woods as the closest distance is an important element for the action.

>>> The whistle wasn't that far,
This paragraph is internal thought, which is fine, but you have a lot of narration about his thoughts, so an indication like, 'he thought', 'he pondered'. Just so it's clear that we're jumping into his brain.

>>> He turned right and walked along the top of the ridge parallel to them,
If you use 'ridge' it suggest he's on land that drops off on both sides. So far, he walked through the woods on level ground. If the tracks are below him, he's on a slope or hill that is cut in on one side for the tracks. On level ground they dig a wide trench on both sides for drainage or even raise the track bed higher than the surrounding land. I think best is the woods are on a slight slope up as he's in the trees and the cut is on the other side of the hill.
>>>...and walked along the top edge of the cut parallel to them.

>>> After a few minutes, the ground sloped downward, and he came to a switch, part of the track curving left and the rest continuing straight toward a building, a mere looming block in the darkness.
I think too much detail for one sentence because it requires imagination to picture geography in the moonlight.
Better to say
>>>...sloped downward and leveled out for a switch. Part of the track curved left and the rest continued straight toward a building, a mere looming block in the darkness.

Note that next, Nate is running down the 'hill' and has not arrived at the switch. He's only seen it from a distance. Now (logic thinking here) the steel rails would show only if it's the main line and polished from regular use. So it's the 'main tracks' that curve left, and only part of the switch and the darker cut through the trees that reveals the unused track, which is partly overgrown. (?)

>>> the platform's rails intact but cracked in splinters.
There are two things: the steel rails are intact, but the wooden railroad ties are cracked and splitting. They are too thick to splinter much, they just dry and split lengthwise. They're soaked in creosote so they last quite a long time.

>>> It was an obviously abandoned station,
I like very much the description of the abandoned station, especially the letters 'shining a dull white like bones'. The mood is kind of scary and good.

>>> He wondered if she could see them at the hospital.
This is a new new element. Is his mother a patient, a nurse, a doctor?

It's just for the summer, he thought.
This is so close to my own childhood. We lived next to a railroad. The back of our garden looked down on the tracks. I used to run to the fence to wave at the engineers, Sometimes they'd hoot the whistle. Summers I'd be sent on the train to the next town to stay with my aunt and grandparents. Your story is pulling up memories.

>>>His mind wandered from thought to thought—Uncle Frank's kindness, Aunt Corinne's set mouth, the pot roast they'd eaten, Pete's picture over the mantel
Bits of the last day. When reading, I gobble up these little crumbs of information and begin building images of who and where. Nice.

>>>Nate drew in his breath, and then the train roared down and past him,
This can't be right because the station is on an old, unused line. Nate would have to run down toward the switch where the train curved away to be close enough for your passing description. UNLESS it is not a turnout but the old station is beside the main tracks. We had lots of those in Wyoming, crumbling away as the trains roar past at 80mph. (?) It's still quiet and isolated except when a train is passing. Usually there is a switch and a parallel set of tracks that go beside the platform, and eventually so back to switch to the main line. The through trains just go straight.

The wonderful part is the power of the writer to reform the geography or the house or the person with just a few words. I think Nate being close to the passing train is a very exciting moment. OR...I misread it completely and the passing train is a ghost train and part of an enchantment in this place. (?)

>>>and he wanted to look away but couldn’t. It almost seemed to pulse in time with his heart.
Now this is scary.

>>>He looked up and caught his breath at the sight of someone standing almost directly across from him, her head cocked, on the other side of the cutting at the top of the ridge.
The sentence gets to complex to read easily. Add a period after 'him'. Then... >>>she stood across the tracks on the opposite rise, her head cocked.

>>>He knew he'd come out here again. Tomorrow night.
Already setting it up for more adventure.

>>>“You can find gloves and tools in the barn out back.” Her voice, though soft, brooked no refusal.
She seems a very serious, cold individual. And maybe resents having to provide for Nate.

>>>then stopped in surprise at the sight of a black Model T,
This is too much coincidence. In my childhood we had an elegant black Model T sitting in our yard for years. It didn't run, but I would sit in it and imagine driving. It had a hardwood dashboard with silver trimmings.

>>> Nate felt awkward; he hadn't meant to upset his uncle.
The mention of Pete causes upset. So something must have happened to Pete. I guess their son is dead?

>>> “Dad said I could buy one if I got a job and saved up half the money.
This is the first mention of Nate's father. I'm still wondering why he was sent away for the summer.

>>> But his uncle's smile remained undimmed, and hope shot an arrow into Nate's heart, quivering all through his insides.
Really nice expression.

>>> The July sunshine beat down on his back
Just the way this is worded, I thought this was a time jump forward by a couple weeks, and especially because he finished all the weeds in the garden. Hard to imagine he did it all in one day unless it was a small garden. I didn't realize until 'Tomorrow he might be able to start on the car.'

I did the same---elementary school through Jr.High. Water and weed and it never stopped until the first freeze. And my dad bought a Plymouth.

>>> Sure enough, as he looked closer, he could see what he thought was his bedroom window to the right of a thick branch, just under the eaves.
Looks like this will be the new sneaking out at night route. Cool.

>>> He thought of the stars, spread like diamonds across the sky, and the quiet peace of the night as he'd lain on the platform. And then he thought of the girl, and his heart sped.
The emotional attachment to this old train station suggest a kind of magical mystery that is yet to be explained.

But as a typical teenager he works too hard (for the car) and is overcome with
spareribs, mashed potatoes and green beans with bacon grease. I would be in a coma! Ha!

FINAL COMMENT: Very enjoyable first chapter. And made me relive my childhood with the trains, the cars and the garden. I question the use of the word 'ridge' and the unused tracks by the station. The terrain in the woods for the tracks is not quite pinned down. I struggled with that. The story itself is good and promises to lead to something very interesting. I'm happy for reply comments.
Best to you, Gale




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .