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Review #4203559
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Review of Vengeance  Open in new Window.
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Rated: GC | (4.5)
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Hi DJGRIFWRITES Author Icon,

I read your story. I have some comments that I hope you find helpful.

The story flowed well. I like that you wrote the whole of it from Rebecca's POV.

I liked Becca's character but felt like I wanted to see more. I know she was a bitter teenager who neither her school mates nor manager appreciated. I wanted to now whether she was shy or bold or somewhere in between. The new her is bold but how about the old her?

My favorite part was when she bit Bobby's ear. Served him right *Devilish*

I noticed this phrase: giving a little extra strut to shake her hips
Strut means to stiffen. So will her hips shake more if she stiffens them?

I liked the end but I wondered why did she have to transform back to her old self. Were there times she transformed to the sexy her? I mean, like, when she opened the book, she became sexy and after revenge, she turned back to the old her.

This is a good story that I enjoyed. Maybe you need to expand it a little more giving some parts a bit of more description and flesh.

Keep in mind that these are my subjective thoughts so you don't have to apply them to you story.

Write on!

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Hi DJGRIFWRITES Author Icon,



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