The idea you have here is a good start. There a few things I would like to mention for improving this story. Most of this story is in dialogue form, it will help the reader to be able to relate to the characters and setting better if there was some description of the characters and their surrounding environment. You can pick up any published novel and see how they have set their characters and scenery descriptions to see how it has been done successfully. I was wondering while reading this story it was taking place a made up world or a ordinary world which is something the reader cannot determine unless you show them this. I feel you could have gone into a more of a slap stick routine, something like the three stooges for example, I just feel that more needs to be added here. The structure of the story is difficult to read because there are no breaks or indents in between paragraphs, this just helps read the story easier and creates better flow. I like the idea you have here and I feel that there is more that has not been shared here also. Great start.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .