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 Review #4226706 |
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| (3.0)| Hello Mare! I found your blog on the book links located on the Hub (front page). First of all, WELCOME TO WRITING.COM! As you tour around the site, looking in all of its nooks and crannies, you'll find many helpful articles on how to write, hone your writing skills, and many supportive members to answer questions or give you directions on where to look for help. I will give you my honest opinion and hope you find this feedback useful. My observations on Bittersweet Memories, it is grammatically correct though I would suggest changing 16 year old to 16-year old. The story is written in third person using pronouns to reflect the characters. As a reader, I found it tedious to read. If the characters were introduced with names and you used only one point of view from the SHE character (let's name her Anna for example), Anna would be telling the story of how she met HIM (older man - give him a name). Let the two of them have a dialogue (which would make it more interesting to read). Let reader feel through Anna's feelings how it was to be kissed, etc. Below are several links to articles about writing found on Writing.com and a web link to Grammarly (a free internet site that will flag errors in your writing.) http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/632402-Four-Parts-to-Every-Story http://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1299892-Kiyas-Big-Book-of-Writing-Guid... http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1881668-A-Brief-Guide-to-Writing-a... http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1488735-Lesson-4-Show-Dont-Tell Google is your friend, use it often to look up info on writing: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/first-second-and-third-person... I know I've probably made your head spin. Don't be discouraged. You display a budding talent. Learn as much as you can. Write every day. You'll be soaring with the eagles before you know it. First drafts are bad. Words will not fall out of your head perfectly. Editing comes later. Thank you for sharing your story. Write On! GaelicQueen  ** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **
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You responded to this review 06/18/2016 @ 4:25pm EDT