Hello Cinn!

I randomly got sent over here with the nifty random reviewer being pushed. I've come across a lot of your poetry so it was great to come across a short story, dialogue only contest entry.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections/Suggestions
This has the guidelines of being dialogue only or else I'd suggest describing the house, ouija board, tastes, smells, all that to get us in there with the character. But, with that said, you convey everything with the dialogue only.

My Favorite Part(s)
“Why was it her fault?”

M-O-M-M-A A-N-G-R-Y

“What did your mother do, Sissy?”

H-E-L-D D-O-W-N-

This part right here was like chills, which normally doesn't happen. Why I don't read horror/scary pieces I tend to see where they are going a mile away. I thought maybe this little girl did something by accident, played too roughly, but got a small hint of the mother. I could tell that her mother was the stronger spirit trying to keep her quiet when she first speaks with her and our character asks for her name. The little girl answers, "no," then "strangers" that her mother won't let her talk.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I really enjoyed how you handled this all dialogue piece, the strength of it, the chills you're able to provide as the story keeps unfolding. Also the ending is chilling with the questions whether or not this spirit could be freed from her prison.

Overall Comments
Overall, I found this to be an extremely strong piece and even with the only dialogue you conveyed a lot just with the dialogue between this character and the little girl spirit. I find it so potent that this girl stays in this closet and doesn't even try to leave because only her mother can let her out. And, her mother leaves her in there for what she's seen happen. I'm glad I got sent over here randomly to check this out.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .