Hello there Stardust!

So, I had scroll open to basically be raiding some bots if they came around. I saw you trying to plug this item of yours and asking if it's salvageable. The thing is I think anything and everything can be salvaged with some elbow grease and hard work. Let's get this rolling.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections/Suggestions
Pablo enjoyed diving.-
Alrighty, let's get into this first part. Right here, first line, this is kind of an example of you telling us something "Pablo enjoyed diving, he enjoyed pizzas, etc." So, how I would turn this into showing us to describe to us the beauties and his reactions from diving. Since I'm a swimmer myself I can kind of play off an example:

Pablo remembered the sensations of diving. The mouthpiece entered his mouth with the plastic taste and made his jaw sore from gripping it between teeth. He enjoyed/remembered/ loved the sensation of submerging into the gorgeous blue deep.-

We got details here from my own scuba diving experience I've had with training. The beauty is in the details.

He was now sixteen and dove for pearls to help support his large family. -

Space needed between for and pearls.

A wealthy passenger by the name of Candice Eastern came ashore and caught Pablo's eye.-

The catching Pablo's eye isn't needed because in the next part you explain and show this to us.

He extracted it and put it in his bag and put the bag under his bed. Running to his hut, he found the bag and reached for the pearl.-

He needs to be capitalized.

I'm figuring that pearl is a prompt word but I would reread this and look for unnecessary repeated words and just replace them with other words so it doesn't become redundant, if that makes sense.

"Miss, maybe this would be more to your liking," he said catching his breath.-

Comma goes in the quotation marks.

My Favorite Part(s)
Her silky olive skin and long, straight, black hair flowed like the waves that kissed the shore at high tide. Pablo kept shadowing Candice as she browsed the shop that was owned and run by his father. -

I really do like this part above with your descriptions. It's cute how he's shadowing her and I enjoyed imaging this.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I really enjoyed your description once you had our main character chasing after his love interest. It was cute, believable, and you described her well. At 295 words I'm guessing that this may have a 300 word limit and of course be a flash fiction.

Overall Comments
Overall, let's answer that question of whether it is salvageable or not? Yes, this piece can be salvaged. If it is a word restriction thing then you can take away the excess words repeated and add in the details of his love for diving with descriptions. Make it kind of 'pop' from the beginning. Keep in mind that contests are here for us to grab inspiration from them. I hope this review is helpful and I wanted to cover everything with you. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .