Hello Carly!

I got sent to your piece through the random reviewer and I'm glad to be sent over to your little port. Your first sentence is so strong and that really made me excited to get into this and keep reading. Which is why at the end I felt... it might be incomplete, or needed a little more tension? I'm not sure, it seems too easy and I'd like to see that call with Ana and maybe her fighting back and such, since that is the main tension of this story.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections/Suggestions
It was Ana, and her voice strained with worry.-
This is a part where I would combine the short It was Ana with the sentence before.

Ana loved to worry; -

I would recommend taking this out since this is one of the few parts you tell us something instead of showing. This is just a recommendation for you though. We are kind of showed this by the interaction in the dialogue earlier so it isn't needed.

Ana’s drama had gotten to her and she needed to shake it off. -

Another more 'telling' part.

My Favorite Part(s)
The night smelled fresh, warm air circled around caressing damp skin like kisses.-

I really do like the start of your story with this description. You get us into this story right away with feeling the air, the smells, and I love it being described as 'caressing with damp skin kisses.'

Ana’s drama had gotten to her and she needed to shake it off. -

Yet again, another small bit of telling us. Honestly, there aren't many in this piece which is really good.

Overall Comments
Overall, I found this to be a smaller piece that had some really fantastic descriptions right from your first sentence. I think that's why the only two 'telling' parts stuck out to me, because you did such a great job with it. I feel like this story is slightly incomplete or I'm missing something though... I don't understand Ana's anxiety. Besides that she just worries profusely, and I feel like there could be more added to this and more tension as well if that makes sense. I hope that this review is helpful for you. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .