Hi JustTurtle ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is a powerful poem, dear author. It is very easy to relate to the sentiments you express in it - I know that I certainly can.

It's a poem about carrying a burden. Feeling too much. The burden is becoming too heavy to bear, and there is a desire to slip away in your dreams, to escape from reality. The world of sleep is one in which you don't feel all those things that you do when you're awake. You don't have to deal with what you dread. It is easier to cope. So, it's understandable to want to linger there, rather than face the day, and everything that comes with it.

You express this very well. I like the tone, which really shows that the person's had enough - making the title very suitable for the piece. Yet, where that strength starts the poem, the ending is more of a plea, which works.

On the technical side of things, I liked the rhythm, which suited the wording. I also liked your use of capitalisation, and your use of punctuation, which enhanced the overall reading experience.

Suggestions:

Poetry is very personal, and a pure form of self-expression. So, please feel free to use or discard this. Yet, when I read the poem, my mind automatically wants to change "Let me alone" to "Leave me alone". Perhaps you can have a look and see what you think? I feel that it would heighten the impact of that line.

My Rating:

As you can do doubt tell, I think that you have created an excellent poem here. I could feel the emotion, and relate to it.

I did have a small suggestion, but nothing major. For that reason, I will give your item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .