Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

Somewhat. This sounded more like a description of two women's biographical events. There was no dialog or building of character so it was hard to feel engaged. But, the idea of writing about two friends is a good one and I chose it because I had very similar life experiences to the girls in this story.


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

This particular piece, for me and my novice eyes, needs some work to keep the reader engaged. It has excellent potential. You maybe could turn it into a novella keeping each section as chapter in the book. For example, the Manhattan story could be elaborated to an individual story. The two girls are compelling and would love to hear more about their lives if there was more active voice in this piece.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

The purpose was clear. It was a good friendship piece.


Glows:

The history of the girls is linear and sequential and therefore, easy to follow. I appreciated their in depth background. They obviously cared for each other deeply and you could definitely sense their connection.



Grows:

I stated them in the earlier section. I always hear in writing circles now, show don't tell and this could easily be tweaked to an awesome story. I read an adult Judy Blume book called Summer Sisters. It was awesome and gives me a reference for something like this story could be turned into.



Miscellaneous Comments:

It has potential!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .