Title of Work: : The Haunted Trail
Author of Work: : Zoey Rae
Date: : July 2, 2016

Plot:
A very tired person goes for a late walk on a rumored haunted trail through some local woods.

Scene/Setting:
Around five or six at night. A trail leads into the woods. Over the years the trail had taken on the mysteries and heightened fears of being haunted, or over run with very unsavory characters. "Zoey" has decided to walk on the trial alone and at night, even though it goes against everything she believes. She finds a severed head, runs into a man bleeding, and another man with a mask over his face.

Characters:
Zoey - walking in woods
Man with Mask - carrying hatchet
Man bleeding - who runs away
Zoey's mother -

Suggestions:
I am usually not into horror stories, but I found this one interesting. You have left it totally up to the reader to decide if it was a dream, hysteria or if it really happened. That is not an easy thing to accomplish. I would be interested in finding out more of the mother's reaction, although I think that would take the mystic out of the whole ending.

I found several misspellings, but only a couple. I also think you could tighten up the story a bit also. You repeat the same idea too many times to close together. For example: "I've gotten around late this afternoon for my walk and I've always made a vow to myself that I would never walk this trail at or just before dark ..." then in the very next paragraph you state, ... even if it's where I said I wouldn't walk at this time of day... , then in next paragraph you state, , I so don't want to walk this trail too late at night and it's already getting dark... . By this point we have already gotten the idea she doesn't want to walk the trail at night, but is going to anyway. To me once you state the point, going back to it over and over means you don't think you stated it strong enough in the beginning. This is just me though. So unless you were going for a certain word count. I would tighten some of the repeated ideas up.


Character Count: 1,749 (tags = 222 Characters)

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