Hi Written In the Stars ! After reading "Invalid Item"  I would like to share my observations. These observations are my personal views and you are free to respond as you see fit.

General comments:

I found the story intriguing. The use of minimal narrative in favor of dialogue, although that dialogue was sparse, was an interesting decision. The mixture of first person point of view and second person point of view did have me a little confused at times and I needed to reread the narrative a couple of times to fully comprehend what was taking place.

Characterization:

I certainly got the characters in this piece, one of which was a young boy and then his father, that was evident later on in the story. I also found the reliance on subtext throughout certainly encouraged me to engage with my own imagination a bit more and this allowed me to have a number of thoughts and ideas that were probably not related directly to the story.

Setting:

Other than sparse indications of the setting, there was very little and I wonder whether the level of drama could be increased through the use of some details regarding the setting.

Plot:

The subject matter of this story is very serious and I think you have handled it extremely well, describing the rift between parent and child when this is discovered. It is a sad indictment on society when this is not an uncommon occurrence. Well done on the sensitivity with which you told the story.


          Finally, I would like to thank you for taking the time to create and share this item. Keep writing and I look forward to seeing more of your work.
         Please note that this review has been completed in line with "Game of Thrones" .

Cheers,


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .