Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

I love that you think it's men! What a clever thought! And, your taking lessons from the ladies no less! Good for you a person of the modern age! I love your analogy of the van compared to a bug. Never thought of it quite that way before.


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

I think someone in need of grocery shopping remediation could feel supported by this piece. Or, maybe it might be an attempt to get wives to stop their husbands from shopping. Although, I don't know how realistic of a scenario that is.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

I'm not sure except to say apparently, grocery stores are hazardous to men and women need to instruct their husbands better. But in my house, I leave the bargain shopping to my husband as I enjoy my 5.00 designer cherry plum hybrid fruits and 4.00 cereal with added granola.


Glows:

This is a funny piece poking fun at the culture of grocery shopping which makes it highly unique. I love unique so this was a good read for me. Your audience might be a little nichey because this really speaks to the nuclear family or dinks (dual income no kids) but still funny for its intended audience.



Grows:

I wonder if you could have shorter, more action oriented bullet points to make the humor really stand out. Just a curious suggestion.



Miscellaneous Comments: Thank you for sharing your brand of humor!


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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .