Hiding a review instantly removes
it from your view. Public reviews that have been hidden are not displayed on
the public review listing page.
Given: Jul 9, 2016 at 8:55am
Length: 1,671 Characters |
1,598 w/o WritingML
Title of Work: : When Hearts Bond Author of Work: : Prof Moriarty Date: : July 12
Plot:
Young man in South Africa works for a company buying commodities. He meets a woman there.
Scene/Setting:
The writer is working for a company in South Africa in a small village. It is his job to purcure cocoa from the locals for his company. Starting one day a woman, Abena starts to leave gifts for him, small gifts such as banana's, honey, pineapples, milk and meat. The man eventually invites the woman in and asks her why she is leaving the gifts. She says it is because he went against company policy and loaned her husband money for crops. The money was used to save their sick child. The days pass and Abena, continues to bring gifts. She even helps out when Rosa, the housekeeper becomes sick. When it is time for the writer to leave, he discovers that Abena has fallen in love with him and is heartbroken. He knows he cannot stay but he kisses her, and takes her necklace as a memento. He never sees her again.
Characters:
Writer
Rosa - House Keeper
Abena - woman who brings gifts
Suggestions:
I liked this short story. It contains everything. There is happiness, companionship and sorrow. I'm usually not much of a one for bitter sweet endings, but yours worked fine. I am thinking this story was done for a contest or prompt since you had exactly one thousand words. Your characters are believable. I would have liked to see more of a description of the countryside, maybe.
Character Count: 1,303 (tags = 222 Characters)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
You responded to this review 07/09/2016 @ 12:24pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4234893
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 4:28pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.