\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4236310
Review #4236310
Viewing a review of:
 Lack of Taste Open in new Window. [18+]
Cramp Co-Winner: On their anniversary, Sebastian and Maria deal with an unusual problem.
by Than Pence Author Icon
Review of Lack of Taste  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


PLOT -
Sebastian and Maria have a special night planned for their anniversary, but just as dinner begins, Sebastian is surprised to discover he cannot taste anything, while his sense of smell is heightened, which leads to a little bit of drama.

SETTING -
With the sense of smell more prominent, and his taste buds taking a dive, it was easy to see his confusion. He could see the steak, smell the aromas wafting up from it, but yet it continued to taste bland to him. I did feel bad for Maria when he had his little outburst, but you painted his frustration well enough. Nice added sensuality as the juice from the steak dripped onto her shirt front, causing Sebastian to want to skip ahead from dinner and desert to the fun stuff.

CHARACTERS -
Sebastian has lost his sense of taste, and his frustration comes out in a big way. Maria wants her man happy on their anniversary, but ends up crying in the bathroom after washing off her perfume.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT -
I know this was a contest entry and word count matters, but I did wonder how he felt sitting at the dinner table waiting for Maria to return, knowing he'd made her cry, even unintentionally. You did well at showing how the dinner progressed, as he couldn't figure out how she didn't taste how bland the steak was. As he continued to try and eat it, and he realized he could smell the aroma so well, it dawned on him that something was wrong. What a way to spend an anniversary. It would totally be a pain to wake up one day and have that happen from taking an over the counter medicine. Good job with having a bright spot at the end! Write on!

This would be my name.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/13/2016 @ 7:59am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4236310