%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4236335 |
 | Coffee with Lisa  [13+] During her morning coffee, Lisa discovers she's not alone. And might never be again.  |
| (4.0)| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby    PLOT - Lisa is getting ready for her day, gazing out to the backyard, content with the quiet and stillness of the morning. She grabs a cup of coffee and waits for the bathtub to fill. Upon getting a refill from the kitchen, she sees a man in the window staring at her. SETTING - Great descriptions of the man in the window. It was easy to picture him there, staring at her, scaring her. I did wonder if there were certain smells that related to him when he entered the house and attacked her since you pointed out he was scruffy looking. CHARACTERS - Lisa, alone in the house, content until she sees the stranger watching and he turns her world upside down. THINGS TO THINK ABOUT - I know that feeling of always wondering if someone is in the house after an incident like this. Her instincts were good as things progressed, calling the police, calling her husband, disappointed that the sirens came but not to her door. That fear just hangs on for months to come, gripping you tight. Why didn't she scream? Being afraid does effect everyone differently, but I wanted to know if the fear made it impossible to get a sound out, or if she was so stunned and caught in disbelief that she couldn't make a sound. Just something to think about if you decide to expand on this short story. You do have room to add a few more elements to make it really terrifying. Write on! 
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 07/13/2016 @ 7:55am EDT