Hi 1UppyEar ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is a good opening chapter, dear author. We are introduced to the main character, Tess, and it is easy to feel sympathy for her. We follow her through a hectic day, like all her days are now that she has a husband, three kids, a dog and a household to look after.

A part of her longs for a different kind of life, but she knows that this is the life she has chosen. That it will be worth it. Still, she can't escape a sense of tedium and frustration, and on top of that she is not feeling too great.

Suggestions:

Perhaps surprisingly, for a chapter this length, I have no suggestions. I didn't spot any errors, and everything was clear. I thought that it made for an excellent read.

Characters:

Tess - It is easy to sympathise with Tess. I like how you have described her day, from morning to night, with the reader knowing that this is how it goes, day after day. Very effective.

She comes across as a good woman. She loves her husband, loves her kids, loves her dog, it's just that everything is getting on top of her, and that is completely understandable.

Tim - Tim seems like a decent man. Perhaps not always understanding of the challenges Tess faces each day, but I guess he is facing his own challenges and pressures. And he loves his wife, and his family.

The children - You have done an excellent job with the children. Each of them has a distinct personality, and the descriptions of them are very realistic.

Storyline:

The story follows a day in the life of Tess and her family. It serves as a good introduction to the different characters. Hints are given that all is not well with Tess. Is she ill? Is there something more going on? It perked my interest.

Wording:

The wording is pleasant and suitable for the piece. I found it a pleasant read.

Presentation:

The layout is pleasant and easy on the eye. Thank you!

My Rating:

As you can no doubt tell from my review, I enjoyed this chapter. It was a good read.

I couldn't spot any errors, and everything was clear. I will give this chapter a well-deserved 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .