Hi BlueMoon ! After reading "Invalid Item"  I would like to share my observations. These observations are my personal views and you are free to respond as you see fit.

General comments:

Once again you have intrigued me with this story. Although I was able to understand that it is a post-apocalyptic story, I was more entertained by the interaction between your two characters than with the wider world. I did feel, about half way through the story that you changed the dialogue flow and this caused me to have to read the lines several times before I realized this. Perhaps it would be an idea to consider some way to remedy this while at the same time as keeping the flow and the pause in time.

Characterization:

Using only dialogue to create your characters is not easy. However, I think that you have managed to achieve this and I could clearly hear the two voices as they spoke. Also, using the repetitive nature of their names in the dialogue helped in that. I do wonde3r whether this is in fact the way that they would speak to each other as it did sound a little like reality television, "Now I am going to do this while you (name) do that."

Setting:

Although not much is said about their setting, I had the clear impression that they were in some form of small bunker. I do not know exactly how they got there or how cramped it truly was, but I had no difficulty picturing the bleak environment. Well done.

Plot:

This story included an intriguing end that prompted a number of questions for me. Using this allowed me to revisit the story you had developed here and try to work out how the events took place and what was involved.


          Finally, I would like to thank you for taking the time to create and share this item. Keep writing and I look forward to seeing more of your work.
         Please note that this review has been completed in line with "Game of Thrones" .

Cheers,
~~Image ID# 2025383's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .