Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

At the beginning, I felt like there was going to be some tension between Ben and Paula but I was proven wrong. You did a great job of building discomfort in the beginning. Then to find out it was really with the young son and his fear coming to reality.

Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

It's an interesting horror/sci-fi piece. I think a lot of readers would enjoy reading the monster under the bed angle.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

I loved the beginning but I kind of lost when you described the earth. They live in the future and have unchecked global warming. Is that somehow related to the monster? Did the global warming create it? I was trying to figure out how the global warming contributed to the greater story arc.


Glows:

It's a creative spin on a child's common fear of monsters hiding under beds. I loved the beginning, I think you set the tone for a creepy story well.


Grows:

I think I would tie idea of global warming into the monster somehow or make it so they can't leave the house to go outside without some protective suits, and maybe the monster is making it hard to get to them. Just an idea.



Miscellaneous Comments:


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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .