Hello, The story in general was good. I like how easy it was to read this.The words flowed off the page. The story moved along well.
The characters were realistic. I don't understand why Jake killed the other vampire. I didn't understand why the older vampire didn't put up more of a fight. Granted, I don't read a lot of vampire stories. Why did Jake not like the smell of the vampire?
The story pulled me in easily enough, I do not read a lot of vampire and warewolf stories. I could see what was going on in the story.
You might look at changing some of your pronoun beginning sentences. I find myself beginning a lot of my sentences with the character pronoun. It gets a little redundant. Just change the sentence a little by starting with the verb and going from there at least within the same paragraph.
The paragraph I really found redundant with this began with "Jake turned and walked back to the tree." This paragraph is all about what Jake is doing. Adding all the pronouns makes this difficult to read.
The setting was well described. When it came to the setting he pulled out a shrub the paragraph just needed to be tweeked. I am not sure how but somehow between the first sentence and the second when he pulled it out I lost what was going on. Was it hard for him to pull the shrub out of the ground? Was it hard for Jake to carry the body?
Overall this was a good story. Being a prologue it may be just what your story needs to begin. At this point I have no clue where you are going with this story.
Thank you for sharing and keep writing.
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