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 Review #4244117 |
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| (4.0)| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Way behind!  PLOT - A foster child is in yet another foster home. This one has constant drama with arguing between a mother and her son until it reaches the breaking point. SETTING - I could sympathize with your main character as she put on headphones to drown out the fighting from below that went from one room of the house to the other and continued upstairs outside his bedroom door. What was missing for me was the emotional aspect at the very end. CHARACTERS - The mother and son who constantly were fighting. The foster son thinking the bickering was the worst part of his life. GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE - At the very end when someone is screaming for Mike, I'm assuming that's the main character from his point of view. This is such a pivotal point of the story, and the emotional connection was lost. It needs a dialog tag, and to show the shock and horror that awaited outside his door. THOUGHTS - You had good descriptive elements as the arguing persisted and moved through the house. How the level of the music wasn't enough to drown out the fighting. I could even picture the gunshot going off. This just needs a little more emotional connection as your main character sees the scene before him. Write on!   
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You responded to this review 07/26/2016 @ 9:05am EDT