Hi The Run-on King PDG Member ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is a fun poem. Very creative. That poor Easter Bunny!

The poem is about the Easter Bunny. He is not having a good day. First he falls and hits his head, and all the eggs spill out of his basket. Fortunately, the children of the village are happy to help him collect them. Then, he falls over again, and again the eggs spill out - to the delight of the kids. By that time, Bunny's had enough.

You use some lovely imagery, and it's easy to sense the frustration of the clumsy Bunny - a contrast with the joy of the kids.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has a nice rhythm and flow. I love the presentation, and the larger font - always appreciated. I also love your use of punctuation, as this helps guide the reader and aids the overall clarity of the piece. Great job!

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!

Stanza 3:

As his head cleared. He yelled such a shout.

Perhaps As his head cleared, he yelled such a shout,

"Look at all my eggs, they are all gone." He said with a pout.

Perhaps "Look at all my eggs, they are all gone," he said with a pout.

Stanza 6:

There was great shouts of joy ringing down from that hill.

I think that "was" should be "were".

I also think that the period should be a comma, as the sentence continues in the line beneath it.

Stanza 8:

He jumped to his feet with a quick hop grabbed the basket and with a run.

I would add a comma before "grabbed", to help the rhythm and flow.

I also think that this sentence continues in the first line of the next stanza, so would delete the period.

Stanza 9:

I would add a comma before "rolling" in the second line.

Stanza 10:

...keep the eggs you find." As he quickly slammed his door.

... keep the eggs you find," as he quickly slammed his door. perhaps?

My Rating:

A fun, creative poem. I enjoyed the read, thank you!

I did have some suggestions. Nothing too major, I just think that this poem can do with a finishing touch to perfect it. For that reason, I will give a rating of 4 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .