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Review #4247053
Viewing a review of:
 Momma Was Right Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about heartbreak it might become a song at some point.
by A Michelle feeling alive again Author Icon
Review of Momma Was Right  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi A Michelle feeling alive again Author Icon,

This review is a part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a good poem, dear author. It speaks of how sometimes others see something in the person we are attracted to that we don't notice, because our love for that person causes us to overlook the negative.

When that happens, it's easy to dismiss those warnings. To brush them off, make excuses for any character flaws. We create romantic heroes in our own minds that may not be a reflection of reality. That can lead to disaster, and heartbreak, as is expressed in this poem.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow. You have done an excellent job.

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!

Stanza 1:

*Snow2* Your perty looks and

I think that "perty" should be "pretty", perhaps?

General suggestions:

*Snow2* I would be tempted to use punctuation throughout this poem. I feel that this would aid the overall clarity and reading experience.

*Snow2* I would then allow the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece, to perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

A good, touching poem. I enjoyed the read, thank you!

I did have some suggestions, but two out of three were more of a matter of personal preference. I will give this poem a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/01/2016 @ 2:49pm EDT
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