First off, I would like to say that I, for one, do not like critiquing the poetry of others. Poetry, I feel is something that shouldn't be overthought to the point that it becomes wooden, a slave to rhyme and rhythm. That being said you did request critical review.
The only thing I find glaringly incorrect in this work is the fact that you have inconsistent rhyme. By that I mean that some of the stanzas rhyme while others do not and this is somewhat distracting from the important points of the poem. It could be changed so that all rhymed or none. For instance, the 9th stanza could be mad to rhyme by simply adding the word 'near'.
The most important thing about poetry or any other literary work is that it comes from your heart as this does. Rhyme and rhythm should always bow to the feelings of the heart.


P.S. I noticed that in line 2 that the word 'were' should be changed to 'was'.