Greetings Sciwriter

I am reviewing "The Righteous Hand"  today as part of the "The Chapter One Competition." .
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" IN PARAGRAPH 7 !


In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words: Bold Black{}
My Impressions as I read: Bold Green
Editing Suggestions:Bold Red


OVERALL IMPRESSION
I liked this chapter. There is a lot going on for Lazarus, and while he's trying to catch one demon, a more powerful one seeks to destroy him once and for all. It had good flow and descriptions that moved the plot forward well.

What I Liked Best:
I really like your character of Lazarus, and how he does his best to rid the world of evil. He's an appealing character fighting the forces of evil, a regular guy who has a super power.

WRITING SKILLS AND CRAFT

Opening Sentence:
I liked the description of the opening sentence, but think it would have more effect if it were split into two with 'body' being the end of the sentence, and 'it was then' the beginning of the next. It's gripping both ways.

Opening Paragraph:
This whole paragraph sets the story for what's to come. Solid descriptions of the scene that pulls the reader into the story.

Plot:
Lazarus is off to stop a Psyclesh Demon, but keeps getting interrupted by other demons who try to kill him. Each one, underestimating all that Lazarus is capable of. He's off to solve a mystery, and can feel that something isn't right, yet he continues to investigate and get to the bottom of things.

Character Development:
Lazarus is the main character, and off in search of a Psycleash, ready to put it down and move onto his next assignment from the Quorum of Saints. He is quick both of mind and feet. He has experience in the supernatural, and is strong.

Dialog:
Good dialogue tags description throughout the scenes of conversation. It was easy to get into the conversations and follow along as the scenes played out.

Spelling & Punctuation:
This wings flap in silence as they cut through the air

Grammar:
No issues

Continuity:
This chapter moved along well, nothing felt rushed or out of place. The action sequences were vivid and worked well.

Form:
Lazarus is a colorful character and is intriguing which is showcased as he deals with demons and stands his ground. This is where the stories strengths came into play.

Clarity:
I had a good clear grasp on what was happening and who the main character is.

Hook:
Lazarus Grey is being stalked by demons, and hunting them as well. His escapades are the backdrop and hook for this book as he works toward riding the world of demons.
CREATIVITY and PRESENTATION

Structure:
The first chapter worked and kept my attention. Nothing seemed to interrupt the flow of it scenes as they played out.

Figurative Language & Vocabulary:
Your main characters insights and thoughts heightened things in the scene and painted a clear picture. Nothing seemed over done here.

Rhythm & Meter:
The chapter moved along at a good pace, had nice flow to it throughout the action scenes.

CLOSING STATEMENT
I liked the set up of this chapter that takes the reader on a journey between good verses evil. Lazarus has a sense of humor, and seems to march to the beat of his own drummer. I like that he's just a normal guy, doing extraordinary things that help rid the world of bad things.

Purple Holiday Givings

STATIC

Cross Timbers Novel Workshop On Hiatis  (E) Looking for solid NOVEL feedback from other novelists? The NW is BACK & better than ever! #2088228 by Carol St.Ann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .