Hello Sand Castles Shopgirl 739

I am reviewing this item as part of the "Invalid Item" .

I liked your take on personifying the railway line (although I actually see a pathway in the picture - it seems everyone else sees a railway line! ). I thought that your description of the special steam train events was good - the Halloween run sounds great, I think I would like dress up for Halloween and have a party on an old steam train!

I did find it a little confusing in the second paragraph as it seems to be the train talking here rather than the track, and then it switches back to the track again later on. There are places where the track is personified well in your story - especially at the start where it exhibits excitement and then later on where it feels lonely, although I did think the bulk of your story is about the special steam train events rather than talking about the track itself.

I think it is a hard thing to personify and you have done well to do so, whilst still writing a story which is interesting.

Good luck in the contest!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .