Hello SB Musing

I am reviewing this item for the "Invalid Item" .

I note that you have also seen railway tracks in the picture (as have all the other entrants) - I seem to be the only one who actually sees a pathway rather than a railway!

I thought your poem personifies the track well and really gives it a "voice". The track here sounds weary, defeated almost, as if it is very old. I like the way "worn torn" sounds a bit like "war torn", which makes it sound more tragic.

I thought the imagery of the poem is effective and descriptions such as the "screeching" of the wheels and the "eroding" of the tracks allow the reader to picture the scene.

However, in this line:

"cattle shuffling within my
steal structured confines."

Do you mean "steel" and not "steal"?

The poem does seem to end a little abruptly to me but all in all I think it is well written and makes good use of personification.

Good luck in the contest!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .