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 Review #4260487 |
 | Sylvester & Tuette: Cursed Doubt - Ch. 1  [13+] Sylvester, a king, must save his kingdom. Tuette is Cursed and wants to save herself.  |
| (4.0)       A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW Sponsored by the New Novel Workshop The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful. Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer. Greetings Than Pence: I am reviewing "Sylvester & Tuette: Cursed Doubt - Ch. 1" today as part of the First Annual "The Chapter One Competition." .THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" What I Liked Best:Gotta like a story that's unlike any other I've ever read. So its uniqueness is my favorite part. Opener: Clever and engaging. Plot: King Sylvester doesn't seem to be able to harness his mystical powers. Another king, or wizard has placed a curse on Sylvester's kingdom that will manifest at the full moon. Not to worry, his council assures him; there's a reverse curse, but it will take some preparation. King Sylvester then sends his (soldiers, minions, townspeople(?)) to the outer regions of the kingdom and on to bordering kingdoms to gather the preparations for the reverse curse and thus protect his kingdom - and the people in it. Character Development: There are so many characters in this series of chapters, (Yes, it's a Prologue and four distinct chapters.) And I managed to keep track of them, uh, for the most part (only having to go back and research a few times.) I admit to a brain shut-down at just about the time the two females were talking about needing the rods to make the ice. So I got pretty far. Dialog: The characters all sound the same. But their issues and dilemmas are different enough to help me decipher through the maze. I can't get through the list though; it's the size of a graduating class of a small university. Spelling Punctuation Grammar: You do have some issues, but for the most part it is very clean. (Which is quite a feat, given the unpronounceable names laden with consonants and apostrophes.) One thing that leaped off the page at me is your insistence on capitalizing the word Curse, but not the proper nouns; specifically "sir" when it was used as such. Maybe clarify the proper uses for the words "that" and "who". They are not interchangeable. (A person is a who a thing is a that.) Two links that never fail to serve: http://www.grammarbook.com/english_rules.asp https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ Continuity Clarity Hook: I had a good and clear sense of exactly what was going on and how and why it was going on, until I didn't. There is just too much information in these chapters. As for the hook, there is one, but for all the reading I just did, it is weak. The king has a kingdom filled with populous to save, and this gal, Tuette, wants to save herself from a vanity curse, and let the king fail. And the hook is whether or not she is unhappy. I realize you want us to be asking what will she do, but that isn't where it landed. It landed on the idea her heart was breaking. You have clearly thought out a great deal of this story and created an entire world of kingdoms, myths, mythical lore and more. I suggest to break it up accordingly and feed it in reasonable doses. So that we can join you there. CLOSING STATEMENT Thank you for joining in the Competition. It has been a very interesting read!  This review has been prepared for you by a proud member of ** Image ID #1953557 Unavailable **   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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