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Review #4262603
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Review by Brooke Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi there dblameck (David) Author Icon

Thank you for your entry in "Paradise Cove Writing Challenge-On Hold" Open in new Window. [18+].

I am the judge for this round and I would like to thank you for your entry! These are my thoughts. I don't review in categories like some people, I just read through your item a couple times and will note anything that stands out for me (good or bad). I hope you find my review helpful in some way or at least enjoy my thoughts as a reader. *Smile*

Overall Thoughts

*Cut* Our car rocked slightly and I wondered how much on an angle we were on.

*Idea* I believe you mean how much "of" an angle. Just a typo.

This is a quick story with lots of action and by action, I mean sex. As far as stories go, it wasn't bad but there was not much in the way of character development. Your descriptions are good, not too much detail. I like that you have cut back a little on your more graphic terms. It makes your stories sound more realistic and not so sleazy. I know everyone is different and appreciates different types of erotica but I think you've come a long way since the last time I reviewed you. You matched the prompt very well with this entry as it definitely takes place in an amusement park. *ThumbsUpL* Good job!

As I mentioned in the forum, since there were not enough entries I'm including gift points with this review in lieu of prizes.

Thank you again for entering and I hope to see more entries from you in the future!! *Wink*

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