INTRODUCTION

Hello Izzy's Writing ,

I am here to do a couple item reviews for your spotlight in the WdC Kind Hearts review group. While I was browsing your portfolio your piece "Invalid Item"  caught my eye, so that's where I'm planning on starting.

So let's dig right in.

WHAT I LIKED:

Idea:

One thing that I really liked about this piece was the content. Going through depression is absolutely terrible, but when a writer is able to channel those feelings into something beautiful - I see that as a very healthy and poetic way to work through the issues that person is experience. I always feel like I'm reading not just about a person's pain, but experiencing how they got through it. I hope that taking the time to write this helped you feel better and deal with what was going on.

Emotion:

Another thing that drew me in as early as the title was the emotional aspect, which is something that I felt you did a great job with all throughout the piece.

Favorite Line:

Excerpt ▼



Although I had the vague impression upon reaching the end that there was something that felt unfinished or incomplete about the piece - I wouldn't know how to fix that. It was just a feeling that I had, and unfortunately there's not always a constructive way to leave that kind of feedback. I figured the best I could do was let you know that that was how I, as a reader, felt so that you can at least have that information.

I do have one solid suggestion for the piece however, and it is as follows:

Remove the Final Stanza:


Although I understand how repetition can be very powerful in poetry, I personally felt like the repeating stanza at the end pushed that a bit too far, and took some subtlety from the piece. I think that ending on a stanza that had been in the poem once above was a good idea as it tied the piece together and made for a good finish, but I feel like including it the extra time wasn't necessary.

Of course, that was just my opinion upon reading.

CONCLUSION:

To wrap things up I thought it was a good piece. Although overall I felt like there is some room for improvement, I liked the emotional aspect of it, there were no glaring errors, and it was a good read. The most important thing of course, is that it helped you work through some stuff at what sounds like a rough time, and that's something that shows.

All the best,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .